IGNORED, THE


Volume XVl: DEUCES DOWN

Bacchus
- Previously a professor at Cal Tech, now a Joker physicist who resembles a giant bee with a libido to match. Judging from his name, probably enjoys the odd drink or two. Bacchus' astro-navigation knowledge was instrumental in getting the first men on the moon back in the 'sixties. Just a pity no-one actually cared.

Slug Maligne - Looking like a large snail minus the shell, Slug's a Joker with a body that tapers down to a slug-like tail, skin that's covered in a mucous coating, doughy features, antennae on his head, and shrunken arms and hands. He can also boast, and usually does, that the 12 days spent at the New York Yankees in 1959 means that he's the only Wildcarder to have ever played in the majors. Slick.

Carlotta - An attractive Deuce with delicate features and blond hair, Carlotta's a regular act at The Village Idiot comedy club. Not so much for her jokes, but for her talent in getting people to laugh at them. She can also focus this Wild Card ability onto a single person and incapacitate him or her by forcing them to laugh til it hurts. Or she could simply get better material.

Clops - This gentle-natured Joker and occasional Hollywood extra is housed in a seven foot tall body with a single eye in the middle of his forehead. And just to show the Wild Card's got a sense of humour, he's near-sighted. Doesn't get a lot of work.

Cleopatra Reza - Another Hollywood wannabee waiting for her big break, although the fact that she looks like a Ray Harryhausen special effect means she may have to wait a while longer. Cleo's a beautiful Turkish Joker with even less range than Clops - she doesn't speak English and she's got a mess of writhing snakes growing out of her head instead of hair.

Goathead - Despite the name, this surly, ill-mannered Joker has the legs and cloven hooves of a goat, but the only features above the neck that could be described as goatlike are the furry ears and goatee beard. He also doesn't get much acting work, mainly because no-one likes him.

Randy McHaley - Or Mr. Unlucky to his friends. If he had any. Poor Randy's a Joker with hedgehog spikes in place of hair, sallow, fishy skin that constantly weeps mucous and tiny blind eyes along his neck and down his back.

The Melted Man (Duncan MacEnnis) - Irish Joker with runneled skin and a hairless, pitted skull who was having a quiet drink in his local pub when his flesh suddenly started running painfully down his body like hot wax before hardening again. No way is he going back to that pub again.

Wide Abby (Abigail Scanlon) - Elderly Irish Joker whose misshapen body looks like someone laying on their side, legs and hands at either end of the stretched frame, and her head a bump in the middle. Similar to Mariah Carey, she doesn't do stairs.

Codman Cody - Raithlin's premier fisherman is a scaly Joker with round, wide-set fish eyes, two-fingered, webbed hands and a mouth filled with twin rows of sharp, triangular teeth. He surely can't enjoy his job.

Joseph Carrick -AKA 'The Rat of Raithlin' - Possibly a dig at his tenure as mayor of the island, although it's more likely because he's a Joker who closely resembles a giant rat - complete with snout, prominent front teeth, tiny black eyes and a body that's completely covered in white hair. He's also Raithlin's only lawyer. Make of that what you will.

Alicorn (Alec Harner) - Lead guitarist for gothic rock band, The Jokertown Boys. Alec's a seven foot tall Joker with an impressive blond, spiked mohawk to cover up the unicorn horn on his forehead. If anyone other than a virgin touches it, he turns into a full-sized unicorn and only by contact with a virgin can he change back to human form again. Two implausible occurrences for the price of one.

Pretty Paulie (Paul O'Nealy) - The Jokertown Boys' vocalist is a Joker with a rubberised skeleton and skin (similar to Eraserhead) who gets around with the aid of crutches and an elaborate set of braces. Like his band-mate Alec, he's hardly a one-trick pony. He's also got elastic vocal cords that enable him to mimic anyone.

Atlas (Dirk Swanson) - The band's drummer is a delicately featured, hugely muscled Ace with enhanced strength, a loud booming voice and a taste in psychedelic clothes that makes Captain Trips look conservative. Well, kind of.

Gimcrack (Jim Krakowiez) - Finally, we have the band's handsome Ace/Joker keyboardist, resident technical guru and the most literal-minded person on Earth. He also believes absolutely everything he's told, which makes him doubly annoying. Slightly less annoying is the fact that the universe actually caters to this belief and turns his wishes into reality. Anything he buys or makes tends to work far better than anyone has a right to expect. X-ray glasses can see through dresses and his universal remotes can do everything. This is one guy who's never disappointed come Christmas time.

 

 

Volume l - Volume ll - Volume lll - Volume lV - Volume V - Volume Vl / Vll - Volume Vlll - Volume lX - Volume X - Volume Xl - Volume Xll - Volume Xlll - Volume XlV - Volume XV - Volume XVl - Volume XVll - Mystery Guests